Choosing Persuasive Speech Topics

A persuasive speech cannot be effective if the speaker chooses the wrong topic. The topic chosen must interest the speaker and the audience; otherwise, he runs the risk of a listless, uninterested delivery that will spell disaster for the speech. Audience members are quick to catch on when the speaker seems less than enthusiastic and will begin to tune you out before long. Choose a topic that you are passionate about and that genuinely fires you up. Such passion can be infectious and, before long, the audience will begin to share your enthusiasm.

Additionally, keep audience interests in mind while scouting for new persuasive speech topics. They need not be topics that are excessively familiar to the audience, but they must have an element of surprise. Persuasive speech topics should also be selected keeping in mind audience needs. i.e. they should be relevant to listeners, their needs, and success. Choosing an irrelevant topic that no one identifies with is a sure way to disconnect with an audience and lose their attention.

The length of the topic should also be carefully considered before selection of a persuasive speech topic. It can’t be so small that you end up having to “fill in” content just to complete the length of the presentation and not so long that you run out of time. Persuasive speech topics must also be well researched and learned. A speaker who seems knowledgeable on all facets of his topic is more appealing to the audience than someone who seems less than sure about his overall understanding. Don’t chose a persuasive speech topic that’s not worthy of debate or change. For instance, a topic like, “Drug Abuse in School and Their Destructive Effect”, is probably a no brainer since all of us know that drug abuse is destructive. There is no question about trying to convince anyone here. Instead look for a topic that has two opposing sides and try to convince your audience about the merits of your point of view.

The speaker must be able to get across a motivating message to the audience. In other words, draw up on real life adversities that you have faced so they can see that it is possible for them to surmount challenges too. Draw from a wealth of real life experiences, stories, and examples to illustrate your points.

The Right Persuasive Speech Topics Can Make All the Difference

Selection of the right topics is crucial to a perfectly delivered speech. The speaker must not only choose an appropriate topic, he also needs to build up a framework around that topic and fill it with the right content. Any one of these steps in isolation will be ineffective. For example, a great speech topic might not be able to hold an audience’s attention if it is not structured and organized properly. Similarly, using the most flowery language will not rescue a poorly chosen topic. Ultimately, it is a combination of all these factors that go into the making and delivery of a great persuasive speech.

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Informative speech topics usually bought by people who have a goal to give some informative knowledge or education rather than using it for promotion or even persuade them in any kinds of things. It’s really different from persuasive speech topics which is having the goal to influence other people or make them having an interest in something that you brought in a speech.

Time is also a vital point of consideration in any kind of speech. If you are required to speak for more than 10 minutes, you can choose a broad topic with different aspects to cover your time. However, if your time limitations are short, narrow your topic down, make it more specific. In general, it depends on the grade level: the higher the grade, the more detailed, complex, and narrow subject is expected to be.

You don’t want to bore your audience with monotonous repetitious content. Try fitting in sensible and pertinent humor as it refreshes the audience, compels them to reflect on the subject and enhances their receptivity. So, comedy is a convincing element in persuading crowds.

If you want to make your speech a blockbuster, you would have to practice it tremendously. Try practicing it before your immediate family, friends, or relatives who can give you an honest feedback about your performance, and make relevant editions if necessary. Often, practicing in front of a mirror boosts your confidence and helps you diagnose anything awkward about you. It also helps you to observe well whether or not your persuasive speech is flowing logically or not.

If you have a list of several good topics and you are doubting which one will be better, in order to understand if it really suits you, test-read a few articles in that topic before making a final topic choice. Don’t choose something too complicated and technical or something too simple. And remember – the key to a successful speech is confidence!

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The most common type of speech given throughout the United States is the informative speech. The speaker is conveying information to an audience in a business, civic or social situation. On the other hand, the persuasive speech is one of the most difficult types of speeches to give. The speaker must have polished speaking skills but also needs to be able to capture the attention of an audience who may disagree with the speaker’s main premise. The speaker’s job is to change the audience’s mind. Not a simple task. Often it’s not even possible.

Let’s look at the purpose of each of these two speeches:

Informative Speech: In an informative speech you are usually talking to the audience about a process, an object or idea, or an event. Your purpose is to convey information. You might be explaining how to do a particular thing, describing something or instructing.

In an informative speech you are presenting information to an audience that is usually willing to listen. Your information is not controversial and your goal is to give information, not try to change anyone’s opinion. People expect that they will gain knowledge or insight as a result of listening to your speech.

A major problem with writing and presenting an informative speech is the potential for information overload. When you are trying to speak on a particular topic it’s difficult to know when to stop. When you really like your topic and are knowledgeable about it, it’s natural to try to disseminate as much information as possible. This has the opposite effect of what you intend, however. Your audience can only absorb a certain amount of information and when you keep adding more and more it becomes frustrating for the audience and they turn off. It’s much better to have 3-4 points about your topic that you talk about in more detail. You’ll never cover it all anyway and it’s better to keep in mind that “less is more.”

For each of the points that you choose to cover have examples of each- preferably a story that captures audience attention and helps personalize the topic.

Persuasive Speech: Persuasive speeches typically deal with a controversial topic. Your goal is to change a belief or behavior or at least create a willingness to consider your viewpoint.

It’s important when giving a persuasive speech that you do not condescend or demean your audience for their beliefs. If you are a representative of Planned Parenthood, referring to the audience members who oppose abortions as “Doctor killers’ is not going to convince any of them that your view is legitimate. Don’t scream, use slurs or inflammatory language. Your goal is to show them that those who are part of Planned Parenthood are rational, knowledgeable, credible and likeable.

Your speaking style should be conversational, as if you were chatting about your issue with a friend. Make sure you have facts and statistics to back up what you say. If pictures will help the audience visualize your message, then use them. Include a call-to-action at the conclusion of your speech. In the Planned Parenthood example, you might be inviting this audience to attend an open house tour of the facility and then a question and answer session afterward. If you can convince audience members to do this first step your speech is a success.

Persuasive speeches need to be extremely well-prepared. Don’t think for a minute that you can give an effective persuasive speech off the top of your head. It takes a great deal of practice and preparation. If you don’t come across as sincere, knowledgeable likable and rational the chances of changes anyone’s opinion are nill.

Here are some tips that will help you write an effective informative or persuasive speech:

Tips for Informative Speeches

Don’t cover too much information. Pick 3-4 ideas. It’s always better to cover less information more thoroughly than to just recite a long list of information that the audience won’t remember.
Give examples for each point.
Summarize your points at the end to increase retention.
Try to use stories to illustrate your points when possible
Use simple familiar words and and be very clear, especially if you are discussing complicated information.

Tips for Persuasive Speeches:

Your job is to convince your audience to share your view and take action as a result.
Be very clear in giving your position and why it’s correct.
Be likeable. Likability is a huge issue when you are giving a persuasive speech. If the audience doesn’t like you or relate to you, it’s not likely that they will listen to what you have to say.
Be passionate and rational and credible in presenting your argument. Screaming, ranting and raving will not encourage anyone to listen to you.
Realize that changing someone’s mind through a short speech is not a realistic goal. Your goal should be to get the audience to agree to consider your viewpoint enough to be open to further information.

When you are asked to give a speech, make sure that you know the specific intent of the speech. The first key to an effective speech is to make sure you know exactly what the audience is expecting. If you are asked to give an informative speech, their expectation is to learn new information of some type. If you’re asked to give a persuasive speech you will be expected to be convincing in your supports for your view. As with any speech, the key is preparation and practice!

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A student who wishes to write persuasive speech papers which are outstanding should make sure that a company where he wants to source for his speech has the best qualities in speech writing.

Its writers must be experts in writing a persuasive introduction of a speech which is able to capture the mind of the reader. Introduction in any speech forms an essential part when writing persuasive speech papers since through it we know what to expect from a speech. Writers should know how to gather information that everyone wants to hear about. When these is followed quality persuasive speech papers will be achieved which will secure better marks for the student leading to a good grade. Persuasive speech papers should be of the highest quality. This therefore means, that writers should follow the guidelines which are recommended to achieve quality persuasive speech papers for example the body of a speech forms the back bone of any persuasive speech papers since it holds necessary information which forms the basis of writing that particular speech. A company that writes persuasive speech papers should make sure that its writers are excellent in speaking English language and fully understands English.

Writers who are good in English are able to write unique persuasive speech papers of the highest quality possible. The reason being that, they can be able to enrich their language using; sayings, proverbs or similes’ where applicable and this greatly persuades the reader to continue reading the speech. In addition, they can express their thoughts and ideas clearly without experiencing difficulties while giving relevant examples that emphasize on what they are talking about. A company that is equipped with expert writers writes the best persuasive speech papers which ensure excellent performance to students who purchase persuasive speech papers. These will attract prospective customers. In a company where writers experience problems in understanding English language provides poor quality persuasive speech papers. To come up with a custom speech that meets the needs and the demands of the students it’s very important for a company to charge affordable prices to students who buys persuasive speech from them. This is because many students depend on pocket money from their parents thus they cannot afford a very expensive price for an informative speech. Writers of a company should be independent and reliable thus, they should make sure that their informative speech is free from any form of plagiarism which might reduce the quality of their persuasive speech.
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Before you embark in the art of persuasion, remember that one can only effectively persuade someone by gaining mastery in the skill of persuasive speaking. There is no easy and surefire way to do it but by honing your skill through practice.

Categories of thoughts

Persuading another person to trust your ideas or do as you please is not an easy task. You must learn about how certain human thoughts are divided. This will make it easier for you to filter through overwhelming information necessary in devising fail proof defense and counter arguments in persuading someone. Generally, this is how human thoughts are categorized:

- Long standing beliefs

- Core beliefs

- Hard facts

- Valuation systems

Long standing beliefs comprise a person’s viewpoints with regards to scientific knowledge, religious beliefs and political affairs. These types of beliefs are strongly conserved because a set of arguments have already been established in the past, gathered through social interaction, reading written materials, watching television, films and the likes.

The second category, core beliefs, refer to the most vital or indispensable beliefs that one may cling to despite any odds, such as not wanting to take someone’s life, abhorring crimes and other inhumane acts.

Hard facts refer to the pieces of information learned through life experiences.

Valuation systems make up the common or stereotypical view of people about other people, places, things and situations. The concept that all politicians are corrupt is an example. Familiarizing yourself with all these can be a daunting task and each of these divisions is not as malleable to alterations.

Let say, for example, you want to make people believe that voting is undemocratic and therefore one should cease voting during elections. The idea can stir people’s beliefs, attracting strong resistance, making this an almost impossible task.

The secret to persuasion

Most of us live with the wrong notion that one can only persuade someone by changing his held beliefs. Telling someone that the things he believes in are wrong is not really an effective way of persuading.

Truth is, the proven secret to effectively persuade anyone is not by changing what he knows but by changing how he looks at the world or a certain idea. Changing the way people view a particular concept is a lot easier and feasible than attempting to disprove their beliefs.

Therefore, if you want to persuade someone, don’t go beyond changing what they know. Instead, concentrate on how you can change their viewpoints. Don’t waste your time substituting the facts they held valuable with your opinions. Give them more reason to consider your idea by citing scenarios that shows the advantage of your concept as opposed to the fact in question.

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We started learning to influence when we were born. We manipulate to fill our needs through our body language, crying or laughing. We used it to be able to stay out late, pay money for our first car or other feature of our progression and development. Knowledge, how to use the art of persuasion was part of our growth and development. If use to its highest art form it becomes a negotiation.

A good persuasive speech has to prove a point, that will change the listeners. The process of causing someone to change their mind can be difficult. You have to think clearly about how you stand on the topic, plan your approach, use strong evidence, and understand the topic.

Failure to learn “Persuasive Speech” can lead to a life of steady submission and concession. It can reduce the aptitude to impart helpful and useful information.

The types of persuasion can categorize into a form or policy. These are the same for speech. The three tools to help with persuasion. Personal Character, When Speech Stirs Emotions and Using speech to prove a truth by means of persuasive argumentation.

The Main Elements of a Persuasive Speech:

* Integrity – Establish credibility by demonstrating know-how, proof and data on the subject – offering facts, statistics or quotes together with any own experiences to make the audience believe in what you are saying
* Ardor – Passing on the subject with fervor, enthusiasm and confidence to appeal to the emotions of the audience

The Construction and Chart of a Persuasive Speech:

* Opening Statement – the opening, ice-breaker or attention grabber

* Foreword – Tell them what the speech is about and what your main points will be

* Sincerity – Establish your credibility by demonstrating expertise, evidence and knowledge of the subject – presenting facts, statistics or quotes together with any personal experiences to make the audience believe in what you are saying

* Verification – Confirm and repeat the main arguments for the subject

* Option – Discuss the alternatives to strengthen your claim further

* Finale – Try to ‘Go out with a Bang’ or end with a memorable punch line or positive statement

Tips and Hints on Giving Persuasive Speeches:

* Meaning and chart of persuasive speeches
* Free PowerPoint style presentations on speeches
* Helpful suggestion and Guidelines
* Educating and Motivating speeches
* Main Elements to Writing Persuasive speeches
* Free, Fast and interesting information
* Increase self-assurance with the free presentation
* Opener, Introduction, Credibility, presenting facts, personal experiences, main arguments, Alternatives and Conclusion

Luke Wright is a persuasive speaking expert. For more great information on what is persuasive speech, visit http://www.persuasivespeakingandtechniques.com.

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The first thing the speaker must do is to establish his rapport with the audience. There has to be a strong connection between the speaker and the audience, since doing so means getting their attention. The speaker must get the attention of his audience in the first few minutes of the speech. This is to ensure that they will hear, understand, and eventually evaluate the facts and cases given by the speaker so the audience will hopefully accept the latter’s proposition. There are many ways on how to do this: some speakers use humor, surprise, movement and anecdotes. It is up to the speaker what method he likes to use as long as he can get the attention of the audience.

The second factor in having an effective persuasive speech is for the speaker to establish authority and leadership. It is a given fact that people will more likely follow the trends and ideas of someone they look up to, or someone who has an authority over them. This is a tricky business to go on with since it is difficult to identify at which point one can say that authority is already present. However, it can be done by telling the audience why they should believe in the ideas presented by the speaker. Why should they make it their own? It is more than just quoting a list of credentials and good background. The speaker should know all the facets of his topic to make the speech as natural and knowledgeable to the audience as possible.

Lastly, the persuasive speech must have a backup plan to answer the non-believers. This is usually the “so-what” phrases. It is also important to have a majestic “close” or that last phrase that urge the audience to take a stand. It must be creative and fully thought-changing, so that even in the last phase of the speech the audience will reconsider their options and with any luck, take the idea that was just presented to them.

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William Zinsser (Writing to Learn, Collins, 1989) teaches that clear writing is the logical arrangement of thought. One of the most difficult things about writing is how to organize are thoughts. One idea must lead and link to the next. In other words, we are talking about coherence and consistency. To be consistent, we need to plan our writing. And the best way to do this is to use a framework. No doubt, structure increases the quality of creative output. So, plans/frameworks and templates are valuable tools in helping to reduce complex problems into their component intellectual parts. But it is important to recognize, with Zinsser, that writing teaches writing, that is, writing organizes and clarifies are thoughts.

The Overall Essay Structure

There are just two parts to an essay structure: the overall essay structure and the structure of each paragraph. Every discursive essay should consist of: an introductory paragraph in which you clearly state the theme (topic) to be discussed; a main body, in which you subdivide your argument into its relevant points (these points should be clearly stated in separate paragraphs and exemplified or justified); and a closing paragraph summarizing the most important points of the essay. You may, to use a common schema, visualize the overall essay structure as something like this:

Introduction: Paragraph 1
Main Body: Paragraphs 2-5
Conclusion: Final Paragraph

This blueprint explains necessary steps. The three fundamentals for our work are: the beginning, the exposition/problem, and the ending. Simply using this framework improves performance.

Let us see now three models that are a kind of procedure to enhance the process of writing. Surely, as is true with all structures, others can modify it successfully. Recall that to write a discursive essay you should use formal, impersonal style.

Three Essay Plans

Your goal is to write a simple six-paragraph article following the structures bellow. Notice that each of the four body paragraphs should expand on the points you identify in your thesis using ideas and examples.

1) For and Against
Introduction:
Paragraph 1 – state topic, without your opinion
Main Body:
Paragraphs 2-3 – arguments for and justifications, examples or reasons
Paragraphs 4-5 – arguments against and justifications, examples or reasons
Conclusion:
Final Paragraph – balanced consideration or opinion

2) Opinion
Introduction:
Paragraph 1 – state the topic including your opinion
Main Body:
Paragraphs 2-4 – viewpoints and reasons or examples
Paragraph 5 – opposing viewpoint and reason or example
Conclusion:
Final Paragraph – summarize/restate your opinion

3) Solutions to Problems
Introduction:
Paragraph 1 – state the problem and its causes/effects
Main Body:
Paragraphs 2-5 – suggestions/examples/results
Conclusion:
Final Paragraph – summarize your opinion

This is a simple strategy that will enable you to quickly write a short focused informational essay that you can use for your school needs.

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Most of the employees may be technically good but very bad at expressing themselves. Shyness, stage fear, and hesitation to express one’s mind are the reasons for most of the people to step back from stage speeches. Most of the introverts face this kind of worst fear in their life and never could able to overcome the fear they have been holding for ages. On the contrary, extroverts won’t leave the stage when given a chance and they try to make an impression on their target audience, taking advantage of their nature.

Introductory speeches should not run more than 5 minutes. Within those few minutes, you should tell whatever you want about yourself. In other words, if spoken correctly, this much time is more than enough for any person on this planet to tell about himself. The only thing is that you need to take care of your thoughts, organize them, and decorate them with few nice smooth rhyming words before you let them hit audience ears. Always imagine that your words are your weapons and they have the potential to either make or break not only your career but also life.

Always structure your speech, chunk the critical parts into easily understandable sentences, and while giving speech, try to take gaps strategically so that the audience does not feel overwhelmed by your information. Do not bombard the audience with the list of companies along with the years you worked there kind of information. This kind of thing not only bores them but also make you lose their attention very quickly.

For people who are suffering with stage fear, here is the trick – while giving the speech, always try to see the last row audience and do not try to see anybody in particular until you complete your speech.

Please go through the sample Introductory Speech Template presented below. You can use this template without any hesitation of copyright violation and can also distribute to others who are in need of this.

Hi,

I am ___ (your name). Before, I tell about myself, I would like to appreciate the organizers of ___ (tell the program name where you are called to give your Introductory speech), which allows newcomers like me to see, know, and meet most of our company employees at a single venue. This is quite a heartwarming session.

So, I am ___ (your name). I joined in ____ (the new company name) as ____ (designation). I am from ___ (place). Before coming to Envision, I worked at ____ (company) as ____ (designation) for so & so years. I have an overall experience of ____ years in mutual fund industry.

At ___ (the new company name), as far as my understanding about my job profile is concerned, I am supposed to do…..(tell simply about your expected duties and responsibilities here).

To support my credentials in this industry and to further my personal growth in this career, I have been making my own contributions to this industry in the form of……___ (writing articles, etc). As a result, I got appreciated by ____ (appreciator name).

With all my so far experience and guidance that I have been getting under the supervision of my immediate superior, ____ (superior name), I hope that I can meet the expectations you guys have on me.

Thanks for giving me this opportunity!

At the root of any successful leader is a strong ability to communicate. Sure, there have been leaders who have ascended into the highest positions and not had that skill, but they likely didn’t last long. This point was illustrated recently as I listened to a NPR program about the failure of the big banks on Wall Street. When Congress grilled executives from these institutions about why they didn’t catch the risky investments that were being made that ultimately failed, their answers were all the same and quite simple – we didn’t know. It was their job to know and either nobody told them or they didn’t catch it in the data they had access to. No flags were raised; nobody asked so nobody told. This is definitely a communication meltdown that had widespread negative consequences.

What is communication? Communication in life is the pinnacle of every successful – and not so successful – relationship. According to Webster’s dictionary, communication is defined as a process of transferring information from one entity to another. Communication processes are sign-mediated interactions between at least two agents, which share a repertoire of signs, and semiotic rules. Communication is commonly defined as “the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs”. Although there is such a thing as one-way communication, communication can be perceived better as a two-way process in which there is an exchange and progression of thoughts, feelings or ideas (energy) towards a mutually accepted goal or direction (information).

Why is communication important? Often times, we have a message which we want to communicate or we want the receiver of message to understand our message in the same sense as we convey it. Take for example a company’s need to raise the cost of health insurance. Often times, this is conveyed through a written document to the employees at open enrollment time. The employee’s reaction is usually anger towards the company for making them pay more money for health coverage. The miss here is that the company is not sharing as much information as they should to help the employee understand how the raising cost of health insurance coverage affects the company and their contribution too. A company should give the employee a total compensation statement at that time so all employees can see how much the company invests in him/her as individuals. Giving each employee a clear, individualized picture and then telling the employee the cost is raising would change the way the message is received. There may still be anger, but it will be focused on the right culprit of raising costs, which are the insurance and medical companies and not the employer. Effective communication helps in that the message is enable to achieve its goals and helps in receiving the desired response from the reader of the message. Effective communication helps organizations in keeping good relationships with their customers and employees; forwarding information effectively helps in avoiding any dispute that can arise because of a misunderstanding.

The 4 Types of Communication. I used to work with someone who I refer to as a “chit-chatter.” He’d walk the halls every day knocking on doors and say, “do you have a minute?’ An hour and a half later he’d still be sitting there rambling. I learned very quickly that my body language could help deter this activity without me having to be rude or disengaging. When Mr. Chatter would show up at my door and say, “do you have a minute?” He’d start to walk in the door before I would answer and I would throw my hand up in the “stop” mode. I would say, “actually, I’m in the middle of something right now, can I get you on my calendar for later today?” His answer was always, “Oh. No, I just came by to say hello.” That one gesture changed the whole dynamic of the conversation. There are 4 types of communication that are present in our lives: verbal, non-verbal, written and visual.

Verbal Communication: Verbal communication includes sounds, words, language and speaking. Language is said to have originated from sounds and gestures. There are many languages spoken in the world. The bases of language formation are: gender, class, profession, geographical area, age group and other social elements. Speaking is an effective way of communicating and is again classified into two types viz. interpersonal communication and public speaking. Good verbal communication is an inseparable part of business communication. In a business, you come across people from various ages, cultures and races. Fluent verbal communication is essential to deal with people in business meetings. Also, in business communication self-confidence plays a vital role which when clubbed with fluent communication skills can lead to success. Public speaking is another verbal communication in which you have to address a group of people. Preparing for an effective speech before you start is important. In public speaking, the speech must be prepared according to the type of audience you are going to face. The content of your your speech should be authentic and you must have enough information on the topic you have chosen for public speaking. All the main points in your speech must be highlighted and these points should be delivered in the correct order. There are many public speaking techniques and these techniques must be practiced for an effective speech.

Non-Verbal Communication: Non-verbal communication involves physical ways of communication, like, tone of the voice, touch, smell and body motion. Creative and aesthetic non-verbal communication includes singing, music, dancing and sculpturing. Symbols and sign language are also included in non-verbal communication. Body language is a non-verbal way of communication. Body posture and physical contact convey a lot of information. Body posture matters a lot when you are communicating verbally to someone. Folded arms and crossed legs are some of the signals conveyed by a body posture. Physical contact, like, shaking hands, pushing, patting and touching expresses the feeling of intimacy. Facial expressions, gestures and eye contact are all different ways of communication. Reading facial expressions can help you know a person better.

Written Communication: Written communication is writing the words which you want to communicate. Good written communication is essential for business purposes. Written communication is practiced in many different languages. E-mails, reports, articles and memos are some of the ways of using written communication in business. The written communication can be edited and amended many times before it is communicated to the second party to whom the communication is intended. This is one of the main advantages of using writing as the major means of communication in business activity. Written communication is used not only in business but also for informal communication purposes. Mobile SMS is an example of informal written communication.

Visual communication: The last type of communication out of the four types of communication, is the visual communication. Visual communication is visual display of information, like, topography, photography, signs, symbols and designs. Television and video clips are the electronic form of visual communication.

What is Your Communication Style? I come from a family where being direct is considered combative. To me, honesty is the best policy and the only way to be honest is to be direct. Of course that ends up causing conflict between myself, my mother and my siblings because they would rather agree with the person to their face then disagree behind the scenes. My style is direct and their style is harmonious (with a bit of passive aggressiveness in my opinion, but that’s a blog for another time!) I have adjusted my style to reduce the conflict and I have learned to get my point across without ruffling anyone’s feathers. Does it always work? No, but it has reduced my stress and those around me. It is critically important to know your style of communication and recognize the style of others so that you can learn to be flexible in your message without compromising it and drastically reduce the possibility of miscommunication. I found an interesting article that had some critically important information relative to communication style: The 21 most important words in the English language:

The two most important words:

Thank You

The three most important words:

All is forgiven

The four most important words:

What is your opinion

The Five most important words:

You did a good job

The six most important words:

I want to understand you better

The least important word:

I”

The Power of Listening: There is nothing that will derail effective communication quicker than one of the parties not really listening to the other. This recently happened to a client with the financial aid office of the University of Michigan, where his child attends school. Every single person that he have dealt with in that office since his child first attended there in 2009 had been short, curt and robotic in conveying the Federal guidelines for student aid. Clearly, there is a budget they adhere to and there is no going outside the box, which is a total disconnect for him as the recipient of financial aid when he attended the Western Michigan University years ago. HIs perception was that the financial aid office exists to help student find a way to fund their education when they don’t have money out of pocket to cover the entire cost. The University of Michigan’s Financial Aid Office employees make it clear through their words and non-verbal communication that their mission is to limit the amount of funds that go to each student to meet some secret budget goal. He tried on several occasions to explain this to the head of the department and each time she twisted it around and blamed him for misunderstanding the counselors, or not following their guidelines, or taking what was said out of context. Not once did she acknowledge that she heard what my client was saying or that she would try and help him find financial resources to help him cover the $26,000 annual cost of school. His child asked, “How can I find more money to go to school?” The counselor responded, “By getting married, having a baby, joining the military or your parents dying.” He said, “None of those are a remote possibility, to which he responded, “Well maybe you should have chosen a school that was more affordable to you.” His child worked hard to get accepted to U of M and he worked hard to save enough money for him to go there. The counselor was actually conveying the Federal guidelines of student aid to him, but it was the way he conveyed it that was totally inappropriate. When my client brought it to the attention of the department director, she was very defensive and blamed the entire issue on me in that he wasn’t accepting that these were the guidelines. That wasn’t the point, but rather there is a right way and a wrong way to say, no, which is exactly what they were telling his son in terms of getting more aid. The last exchange my client had with the department head, she said, “Please accept my apologies for any response you feel was inappropriate.” My client didn’t feel the responses were inappropriate, they were. He totally understands the Federal guidelines, and she repeatedly and robotically recited them to him over and over and over again, missing the point. Putting the blame back on my client and his son clearly showed she never listened what I was trying to say and my client wasn’t heard. That’s an unfortunate gap between a parent and a major function at a major institution.

Managing Conflict: To say my client had a conflict with the U of M financial aid office is an understatement. It was a major communication breakdown, one I’m sure he’ll pay the price for at a later date – literally. However it is a normal part of life to have conflict at home, in the workplace, in any situation where two or more people are exchanging information. What is key is how we manage conflict and bring it to successful resolution. In the case of the financial aid office, my client has agreed to disagree, take what they will give and find another resource to cover the gap in tuition. The head of that office will never get what was said to her and he can live with that, it’s her loss. There are many effective ways to defuse a tense situation and one thing that has been successful is to decide – what can you live with and what are you not willing to budge on? Knowing conflict happens and being armed with tools to manage through it and resolve it are keys to having the right mindset while it is happening. My client’s situation was unfortunate but not personal and I guarantee he is not the first nor will he be the last to experience a brick wall when it comes to the U of M financial aid office. Removing the emotion and defusing the situation helped bring this to a reasonable conclusion.

How Your Attitude Affects Communication: Every attitude is a combination of feelings, beliefs and evaluations. Behavior refers to the reactions or actions of an object or organism and attitude predicts behavior. Persuasive communication changes attitudes, which then affects behavior, which then creates a more productive environment. Persuasive communication involves openly trying to convince another to change their behavior and only works when the source is credible and trustworthy. Addressing trust and credibility first among your coworkers and other critical relationships you have lays a strong foundation. Learning to clearly state your position, followed by supporting arguments and obtaining others’ agreement are the keys to persuasion.

Giving and Receiving Feedback: Feedback is a type of communication that we give or get. Sometimes, feedback is called “criticism,” but this seriously limits its meaning.

Feedback is a way to let people know how effective they are in what they are trying to accomplish, or how they affect you. It provides a way for people to learn how they affect the world around them, and it helps us to become more effective. If we know how other people see us, we can overcome problems in how we communicate and interact with them. Of course, there are two sides to it: giving feedback, and receiving it.

Getting Feedback: Some people experience feedback as pure criticism and don’t want to hear it. Others see it as spiritually crushing; a confirmation of their worthlessness. Still others only want to hear praise, but nothing that might suggest imperfection. That’s not the case for everyone, of course. Some people are willing to accept feedback and seek it out, even if it is sometimes disturbing, because they believe they can grow from it. It comes down to whether you believe feedback will harm you or benefit you.

This is not to say that we should always have to accept feedback or the manner in which it is sometimes given. We all have the right to refuse feedback, and we can expect feedback to be given in a respectful and supportive manner. But for every positive and open way of accepting feedback, there’s an opposite; a negative and closed manner which pushes feedback away and keeps it at bay.

Negative/Closed Style

Defensive: defends personal actions, frequently objects to feedback given. Attacking: verbally attacks the feedback giver, and turns the table. Denies: refutes the accuracy or fairness of the feedback. Disrespectful: devalues the speaker, what the speaker is saying, or the speaker’s right to give feedback. Closed: ignores the feedback, listening blankly without interest. Inactive listening: makes no attempt to “hear” or understand the meaning of the feedback. Rationalizing: finds explanations for the feedback that dissolve any personal responsibility. Patronizing: listens, but shows little interest. Superficial: listens and agrees, but gives the impression that the feedback will have little actual effect.

Positive/Open Style

Open: listens without frequent interruption or objections. Responsive: willing to hear what’s being said without turning the table. Accepting: accepts the feedback, without denial. Respectful: recognizes the value of what is being said and the speaker’s right to say it. Engaged: interacts appropriately with the speaker, asking for clarification when needed. Active listening: listens carefully and tries to understand the meaning of the feedback. Thoughtful: tries to understand the personal behavior that has led to the feedback. Interested: is genuinely interested in getting feedback. Sincere: genuinely wants to make personal changes if appropriate.

Giving Feedback

The other end of feedback is giving it. Some people deliver feedback with relish; after all, it’s easier to give advice than take it. Some use feedback as a weapon, or offer it as tit-for-tat. For others, feedback is a great way to be critical. How you deliver feedback is as important as how you accept it, because it can be experienced in a very negative way. To be effective you must be tuned in, sensitive, and honest when giving feedback. Just as there are positive and negative approaches to accepting feedback, so too are there ineffective and effective ways to give it.

Ineffective/Negative Delivery

Attacking: hard hitting and aggressive, focusing on the weaknesses of the other person. Indirect: feedback is vague and issues hinted at rather than addressed directly. Insensitive: little concern for the needs of the other person. Disrespectful: feedback is demeaning, bordering on insulting. Judgmental: feedback is evaluative, judging personality rather than behavior. General: aimed at broad issues which cannot be easily defined. Poor timing: given long after the prompting event, or at the worst possible time. Impulsive: given thoughtlessly, with little regard for the consequences. Selfish: feedback meets the giver’s needs, rather than the needs of the other person.

Effective/Positive Delivery

Supportive: delivered in a non-threatening and encouraging manner. Direct: the focus of the feedback is clearly stated. Sensitive: delivered with sensitivity to the needs of the other person. Considerate: feedback is intended to not insult or demean. Descriptive: focuses on behavior that can be changed, rather than personality. Specific: feedback is focused on specific behaviors or events. Healthy timing: given as close to the prompting event as possible and at an opportune time. Thoughtful: well considered rather than impulsive. Helpful: feedback is intended to be of value to the other person.

The Importance of Feedback

Feedback is a must for people who want to have honest relationships. A powerful and important means for communication, giving feedback connects us, and our behavior, to the world around us.

Communication and the Digital Age: There are now multiple means of causing communication barriers between people; texting, Facebook-ing, Twittering, instant messaging, voice mail and email to name a few. Stephen Covey’s Time Management program preaches for us to be the master of technology versus letting technology being our master. I recently attended a baseball game and when I looked around the stadium, I saw a sea of people looking at their cell phones. They were texting, taking pictures, uploading them to Facebook, talking – it was a new age of mass media blitz. I frequently get instant messages from clients and potential clients asking me in-depth life changing questions and expecting a simple answer in return. It’s hard to be an effective communicator in the digital age unless we learn how to use these means in a persuasive and appropriate manner. A client of mine has an employee who constantly fires off scathing emails. My client gets constant complaints about the employee who is perceived as being combative and abrasive. I advised her to sit down with the employee, show her examples of the inappropriate emails, advise her to a 24-hour “cool down” period, then initially reviewing the emails with someone they can trust before hitting the send key. A month later the client reported that 9 out of 10 emails were scrapped before sending. The employee then learned the skill of not reacting via email to other communication that was angering her. It is especially important in this economic climate where we’re doing much more with much less and tensions are high.

Ask yourself the following questions:

How would your professional and personal life change if you could successfully master these basic skills? Can you afford not to make the investment to improve your communication? You will be amazed at the startling turn your life will take once you learn how to communicate effectively and successfully. Did you know that the most important asset to a company or to a client is a person who communicates effectively, someone who has the ability to influence and persuade others? Are you communicating successfully and effectively to influence others or are you just talking?

i. 2007, Stoney deGeyter; Pole Position Marketing. ii. 2009, Phil Rich, Ed.D., MSW, DCSW; Self-Help Magazine.